O.C. Writers

By Andrea Lewis // 

I researched this topic from the position of a newbie, inexperienced to even recognize it. Have I been living under a rock? Perhaps, since, according to notes on Writers in the Storm, this style has been around for some time. Thus, I reached out to as many sources as I could, including my trusty group at The Lake Forest Writers’ Roundtable. From them, I learned about the multitude of blogs that tackle Deep Point of View, mostly known in its shortened version, Deep POV, and, about Lisa Hall-Wilson, expert in this style, in her role of writing teacher and award-winning writer, as well as author of Method Acting for Writers: Learn Deep Point of View Using Emotional Layers.

Chances are, most of you know a great deal about it and have probably been using it successfully. If so, please do share your expertise with our community, below.

I. What is Deep POV?

Starting from scratch, I looked for definitions. In one article on Writers in the Storm, Lisa Hall-Wilson defines Deep POV as a “style of writing that aims to immerse the readers in the story so that they share the character’s emotional journey as though their own.” Furthermore, as a guest on Writers Helping Writers, Hall-Wilson remarks that through this style writers intend “to remove all the psychic or narrative distance between the reader and the character.”

On Well Storied, Kristen Kieffer adds that this is accomplished by “utilizing a close subjective framework,” where “one character’s thoughts and experiences shape the narrative at a time.”

Already, some key elements surface, recurrent in the study of Deep POV.

• “immerse the reader into the story,”
• “emotional journey of the point-of-view character,”
• “remove narrative distance between the reader and the character,” and
• “the reader will be in the head of the character, only experiencing what the character experiences.”

All the techniques used by writers to accomplish the coveted point of view will result directly or indirectly from these elements.

II. Why do writers use Deep POV?

As with all other styles of writing, the aim is to keep readers engaged till the end of the book, through a complex experience. In this case, to make readers feel as if they were the protagonists, as if their senses were fully involved in the “reality” of the story, “through one character’s perspective at a time, making the events […] more personal and gripping” (Kieffer), with the ultimate goal of creating “emotional connections with the readers,” according to Lisa Hall-Wilson.

The editors at Masterclass identify four reasons to write in Deep POV, rooted in the writers’ desire to connect with readers, mimicking “the experience viewers have when watching […] a film.” (Kieffer)

1. Deep POV “Creates a deeper connection between readers and characters,” by allowing readers into the head of the point-of-view character.
2. “Strengthens character development” – allowing readers into the head of the character, they become direct witnesses to the changes and evolution of the character.
3. “Makes the storyline come alive” – gives the readers the opportunity to be the actors on the screen.
4. “More concise way of writing” since it relies on the removal of the dialogue tags, adverbs, and filter words.

III. How do writers use Deep POV / write in Deep POV?

According to Lisa Hall-Wilson, most commonly, writers will shift between psychic distance styles, combining them for a maximum impact.

The expert argues that Deep POV is used overwhelmingly in romance, but other genres blend it with limited/close third person, as well as with objective or indirect point of view, to best “serve the story and the emotional arc of the chapter.”

Looking for ways that writers use this style, I found that most blogs list the same tips. I had to agree with Lisa Hall-Wilson: everyone tries to simplify this complex style, to make it “user-friendly” to newer writers, like myself, yet, when confronted with it in a paragraph, things lose their simplicity.

Below, is a selection of ways that various blogs identify as employed by writers to achieve Deep POV. They revolve around one major requirement: that the reader is in the head of one point-of-view character, only experiencing what this character experiences.

1. Create an in-depth character sketch before starting to write – advise the editors at Masterclass. This rings back to character development, in that writers should know their point-of-view character in detail, since, “writing in Deep POV means you aren’t writing ABOUT your character, you are writing as them.” (Kristen Kieffer)
2. Limit the reader’s knowledge to what the character knows advises Hall-Wilson on Writers Helping Writers. Kieffer echoes this guidance: since all the information comes from and through the character, the reader should not have any other source of information. Hall-Wilson cautions mystery writers: the character shouldn’t be able to see the plot twist coming.

There is no head-hopping in Deep POV, either, for the same reason: only one POV. The viewpoint character will observe other characters, their expressions, or read their body language.

3. Remove the Writer Voice Entirely, Lisa Hall-Wilson recommends. “The focus of the story is the character’s emotional journey. There’s no place for the narrator / writer voice.” This is accomplished through:

a. Getting into the character’s head – is the general advice across the above-mentioned articles, as they all stress the importance of filtering every experience through the character. Internal dialogue and free indirect speech should be the main tools to render the inner thoughts of the character.

Example from Masterclass:

“Jim stared at the pizza and debated whether or not to eat another slice.” (No Deep POV)

 “Jim stared at the pizza. Should I have another slice?” (Deep POV) Tense shifts, using present for the character’s thoughts, versus past, for actions. Also, notice the absence of italics.

b. Cutting “filter words” as they are marks of authorship that puts a distance between reader and the point-of-view character. “She thought,” “he saw,” “they wondered,” remind readers that an author is behind every word. Instead, add imagery that shows and “makes the narrative more personal to the character’s experience,” advises Kieffer.

c. Limiting dialogue tags, another mark of authorship that indicates which character is speaking. Tags like “said,” “asked,” “replied,” are nearly invisible to the reader, and do not harm the Deep POV narrative. However, the overuse of common tags, can pull readers out of a story.

d. Employing greater emotional range and intensity, also known as emotional arc – Hall-Wilson challenges writers to not rely on “easy emotions” like anger, love, attraction and fear. Instead, they should explore deeper emotions.

4. Show, don’t tell – implies painting a picture for the reader who is to experience the story through the eyes of the character. Kristen Kieffer quotes Anton Chekov to emphasize this principle: “Don’t tell me the moon is shining. Show me the glint of light on broken glass.”

E.g.      What a farmer entering a city notices vs. what a city-dweller would notice.

5. Use Active Voice – it will keep the viewpoint character at the center of the scene, urge the editors at Masterclass. E.g. John fell under the wave, the weight of the water unbearable and suffocating.”
6. Use Deep POV in scenes that call for it – instead of going for an entire book in Deep POV, writers could write in limited third, and reserve Deep POV for scenes that warrant a more introspective look, recommend the writers of Masterclass.

E.g.      “Sara noticed he wasn’t wearing his wedding ring and wondered if he deliberately took it off before he met up with her.”

“His wedding ring was missing. Did he take it off before he got here?” – distance between Sara and reader is cut.

7. Avoid drawing conclusions for readers – Hall-Wilson observes that in Deep POV, writers share the raw information that the character takes in, and NOT the conclusions they reach. Their emotions are based on this information, so this basic data provides the WHY behind what they think and do and feel.

IV. Example of Deep POV

Most of the blogs quoted above construct examples to serve the purpose of the demonstration. In Why Don’t Best Sellers Use Deep POV on Writers in the Storm, Lisa Hall-Wilson analyzes a few examples from best sellers, breaking down the Deep POV elements. She highlights the distinction between the different styles used in each fragment. I selected one such fragment from Wilson’s article: An Ember in the Ashes, by Sabaa Tahir. For analysis purposes, I have numbered the paragraphs in the example.

“My big brother reaches home in the dark hours before dawn, when even ghosts take their rest. He smells of steel and coal and forge. He smells of the enemy. (1)

He folds his scarecrow body through the window, bare feet silent on the rushes. A hot desert wind blows in after him, rustling the limp curtains. His sketchbook falls to the floor, and he nudges it under his bunk with a quick foot, as if it’s a snake. (2)

Where have you been, Darin? In my head, I have the courage to ask the question, and Darin trusts me enough to answer. Why do you keep disappearing? Why, when Pop and Nan need you? When I need you? (3)

Every night for almost two years, I’ve wanted to ask. Every night I’ve lacked the courage. I have one sibling left. I don’t want him to shut me out like everyone else.” (4)

The Deep POV expert underlines the shifting between psychic distance styles, from one paragraph to the next: (1)+(3) are in limited or close third person, (2) is Deep POV, while (4) is in objective or indirect POV. The reason behind this combination, as Hall-Wilson writes, is “to best serve the story and the emotional arc of the chapter.” In paragraph (4), the narrator voice comes in to “bridge a gap for readers,” giving a background of the events and the characters. 

Kristen Kieffer notes that “writing in Deep POV is immediate and personal. It embarks readers in a character’s world and urges them to experience every rollercoaster emotion along the way.”

Deep POV is not the right choice for every story, and it can be challenging. Hall-Wilson advises choosing clarity over any complicated style. And, above all, writers should use the style that feels natural to them and to their stories. This will show confidence on the writers’ part.

Have you tried Deep POV? Let us know, share your wisdom, what worked and what did not.

 

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ANDREA LEWIS lives and writes in Huntington Beach. She was born in Romania and moved to the United States at the age of 34, after meeting and marrying her husband. She writes memoir and personal essays, with a recent attempt at freeform poetry. Her work has been featured in the Los Angeles Times.