By Barbara Neal Varma //
Several Christmases ago, my true love gave me cooking lessons, after which I quickly looked under the tree for a new vacuum, too, LOL. My mom, with us that year for Christmas morning festivities, summed it up nicely: “Well, it couldn’t hurt.”
Fast-forward to 2020 when in the “It only took a pandemic” spirit, I’ve become a regular Rachael Ray, working as the resident sous chef to slice and dice and prep everything for hubby to then operate hot appliances and make a five-star homemade meal.
It wasn’t only the stay-at-home orders that finally motivated me to get cookin’. Back in the early spring when hoarding groceries was all the rage, Michael and I got the bright idea to sign up for one of those meal kit services (hi, Blue Apron and Hello Fresh) that deliver fresh ingredients right to your door.
Safety and convenience were top draws, of course, but the real treasures in the box were these colorful cook-by-number recipe cards that explained exactly what to do to make a tasty meal. I especially liked their playful instructions, so different from my mom’s Betty Crocker tomes. First time I read, “Bust out” above the list of ingredients, my seduction was complete.
It occurred to me one day while chopping onions for that night’s shepherd’s pie (meat and potatoes—what’s not to like?) that there should be a jaunty recipe for writing, too. Something to remind us that writing, like cooking, shouldn’t be a chore, but a fun and creative activity instead.
And so, channeling my inner Julia Child and James Herriot, I whipped one up. For your culinary consideration:
BARBARA’S TASTY PROSE IN 6 EASY STEPS
- BUST OUT
- 1 cup hot tea (Or coffee. Or tequila, no judgment.)
- 1 medium-size cookie
- A pinch of ego (Use sparingly. Potent stuff.)
- A handful of optimism
- A whole lot of patience
- A healthy sense of humor
- PREP
- Place butt in chair and keep it there.
- Turn off the cell phone. TIP: If panic ensues, turn off text and email alerts only.
- Set aside time for pre-writing meditation if desired. 5-15 minutes.
- Determine a writing goal for the day and a target time to complete it.
- WRITE
- Once your imagination heats up, start adding words to the page.
- Write without stopping for 20-minute intervals. More or less time to fit your needs. TIP: For the easily distracted, set a wind-up kitchen timer for that motivating ticking-bomb effect.
- Reserve judgment. (You’ll need it for the next step.)
- REVIEW
- Review first draft. Keep what works and delete what doesn’t. Modify what’s left over until the story starts to take shape.
- Stir in a pinch of humor to taste. (A little goes a long way.)
- Simmer on the computer a day or two before testing for cohesiveness and consistency.
- FINE-TUNE
- After a few days gelling, correct any spelling and punctuation errors.
- Fold in smooth transitions as needed.
- Top it off with a fitting title.
- Let other trusted writers taste-test your word soufflé before serving to the masses.
- SERVE HOT OFF THE PRESS
- If it’s a short piece, pair your story with a cover letter or query and send out to market.
- If it’s part of a longer project, add this latest batch to your book and repeat steps 1-5.
Bon mots!
SECRET SAUCE?
Your turn! What is your secret ingredient for delicious storytelling?
BARBARA NEAL VARMA is a contributing writer to Orange Coast Magazine and has appeared in other notable publications, including The Atlantic. Her easy-humor personal essays have proven popular with readers, one gaining numerous hits on Orange Coast Magazine‘s website. (Hello: Desperately Seeking Donny.) You can learn more at BarbaraNealVarma.com.
I always plan to write enough words to feed an army, knowing I can trim off the fat and freeze what I don’t use.
Wonderfully witty
I find myself using the various spicy bits and pieces of my experience (like I would cook a stew) to flavor my tasty writing. Fortunately, it’s easier to delete words if I go overboard!