O.C. Writers

By Andrea Lewis // 

The beginning of each year causes me panic: everyone that I know feels the urge to set resolutions for the 365 days ahead. I dread the question because, as wiser people said it before me, we should not wait for the beginning of the year to make a change never satisfies anyone curious about my resolutions. This year, however, I finally picked one: cutting clutter in my writing.  

Clutter in writing? My friends asked. Maybe in closets, kitchens, etc… but writing?

However, I realized that I have been sneaking in elements that I am used to hearing or reading but that do not add value to my text. After researching for this article, my reading experience is ruined: I see clutter everywhere.

Therefore, for the first Writing Workshop of 2023, let us consider a few techniques to simplify our writing by removing the mess from it. While these practices won’t make it easier to write a story down, they will help in the editing stages, leading to a fine-tuned piece.

I. Definition

Merriam-Webster defines clutter as “a crowded or confused mass or collection.” The Clarity Editor.com sees it in “words that don’t serve any function. They keep the readers from understanding your message.”

Author of “On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing Non-Fiction,” William Zinsser defines it as “the disease of American writing. […] We are a society strangling in unnecessary words, circular constructions, pompous frills, and meaningless jargon.”

II. Reasons to simplify writing

Writers want to make their message easier to understand, clearer, simpler, better.

In his “On Writing Well,” William Zinsser unveils “the secret of good writing: to strip every sentence to its cleanest components.” This process will also help reveal the author’s voice, allowing it to be genuine.

III. Ways to recognize clutter

Below are the most common places we tend to hide it in our writing, as identified by William Zinsser.

In early drafts of manuscripts where the focus is on writing, completing the story, rather than fixing stylistic, grammar or any other issues. Content is more important at this stage. Adjustments, corrections will be done in the re-writes, in the editing stages of our work.

Zinsser finds it in “the thousand and one adulterants that weaken the strength of a sentence:”

• Words that serve no function
• Every long word that could be a short word
• Every adverb that carries the same meaning that’s already in the verb
• Every passive construction that leaves the reader unsure who is doing what

The author of “On Writing Well” quotes President Franklin D. Roosevelt’s effort to simplify memos issued by his government, such as a blackout order, in 1942:

“Such preparations shall be made as will completely obscure all Federal buildings and non-Federal buildings occupied by the Federal government during an air raid for any period of time from visibility by reason of internal or external illumination.”

President Roosevelt changed it to: “Tell them that in buildings where they have to keep the work going, to put something across the windows.”

Prepositions added to verbs or nouns. We “free up time” instead of “free”; “personal” in combinations like “personal friend”, “personal feeling,” “personal physician.”

The fear of using simple words. For instance, “now.” Instead, we tend to use “currently” (“all our operators are currently assisting other customers”). “Presently” means “soon,” but we tend to use it as “now.”

E.g. John Dean, President Nixon’s aide, in his testimony on TV, during the Watergate hearings, used the phrase “at this point in time” instead of “now” enough times to contaminate every American’s speech thereafter.

Euphemisms. Trying to mask something that we think unpleasant: “slum” becomes “a depressed socioeconomic area.” “Garbage collectors” are “waste disposal personnel.” Corporations tend to use euphemisms to hide mistakes, while governments will call an army invasion a “reinforced protective reaction strike.”

IV. How to cut clutter from writing?

From the materials researched for this article, logic, a good knowledge of grammar and of our topic will help us, writers, keep our writing simple.

William Zinsser

Quoting Henry David Thoreau in “On Writing Well”, Zinsser urges writers to “simplify, simplify,” just like Thoreau did. Zinsser’s advice to writers is to “clear their heads of clutter. Clear thinking becomes clear writing; one can’t exist without the other.”

Below are some of the techniques that Zinsser recommends we practice to simplify our writing:

• What am I trying to say? Writers “must constantly ask themselves” this question and analyze their writing from the point of view of a reader who “encounters the subject for the first time.” Then, they should ask themselves if they said what they wanted, and if the message is clear.

“Writing is hard work. A clear sentence is no accident. Very few sentences come out right the first time, or even the third time.”

• Replace long words with short words. Examples:

“assistance” – “help”

“numerous” – “many”

“facilitate” – “ease

• “Prune ruthlessly”. An efficient exercise that Zinsser used with his students at Yale University was to put “brackets around each component that wasn’t doing useful work.” For instance, an adjective that states a known fact (“tall skyscraper”). He chose brackets instead of crossing words out, “to avoid violating their sacred prose.” Soon, “students learned to put mental brackets around their own clutter.”

Within this stage, writers must “reexamine each sentence” to ensure that “every word is doing new work”, and if “any thought could be expressed with more economy.”

• Use “I”. When expressing their opinions, writers should not be afraid to use the pronoun “I” instead of the impersonal “one,” “It is,” “We.”
• “Write for yourself”. Zinsser advises writers to not think about the readers, since each reader is a different person. Rather, they should “write for themselves” and make sure the text answers their questions first.

Richard Nordquist, Ph.D. In an article on ThoughtCo.com, “Practice cutting clutter in your work”, the Rhetoric and English Professor at Georgia Southern University, offers several editing strategies that will eliminate the “deadwood” that “bores, distracts or confuses readers.”

• Reduce long clauses to shorter phrases
• Reduce phrases to single words
• Avoid “there is,” “there are,” “there were,” as sentence openers
• Don’t overwork modifiers. E.g.: “By the time we got home, Merdine was very tired.” – “exhausted.”
• Avoid redundancies (phrases that use more words than necessary)
• Use active verbs
• Don’t try to show off with complicated words
• Replace vague nouns with more specific words

His main rule: “don’t waste words. […] When revising, editing, aim to cut out language that is vague, repetitious, and pretentious.”

Ema Naito from TheClarityEditor.com emphasizes three common areas in writing where we can improve:  

• Find the verb: nominalization is the process of turning verbs into nouns. It makes action less active. For example, “investigate” – “investigation”, “analyze” – “analysis.” When used too much, the text becomes wordy, murky. Similarly, find the action: if it’s in the noun, change it back into the verb and adjust the sentence.
• Cut repetition, like redundant words: “depreciated in value” – “in value” is superfluous; analyze word pairs in your sentences to see if they say the same thing. Eliminate the extra word or sentence or reword as needed.  
• Remove “throat-clearing” – fillers that don’t say anything: “It is important to note that…”; “I further point out that…”

Naito’s remedies are inspired by William Zinsser: writers should go through their text, use brackets or other ways to mark the culprits, then re-read the text to see if it makes sense without them. If yes, “delete mercilessly.”

Jodie Renner, at The Writelife.com, by Selfpublishing.com writes that useless words interrupt the flow of the text and often, the “essence of message is buried under all excess words.” Renner advises reading the text aloud as a tool for finding the unwanted material.

• Avoid little-word pileups. E.g.: “in spite of the fact that” – “although”
• Leave out details that do not add to the story.
• Take out “that” whenever it is not needed. Reading aloud will help here.
• Delete words or phrases that unnecessarily reinforce what’s already been said. E.g. “We passed an abandoned house that nobody lived in.”
• Don’t tell after you’ve shown.
• Condense long winded dialogue. Read the dialogue loudly to make sure it sounds natural.

Josh Smith, on Proedit.com suggests creating an outline before starting to write because it will help

• Organize your thoughts and avoid “throat clearing.”
• Write a clear and concise text “rather than an effluent stream of consciousness.”

Audrey Wick, English professor at Blinn College Texas advises

• Cutting out “unnecessary words by keeping dialogue streamlined.” E.g., instead of I knew that I wanted the job, have the character say I wanted the job.
• Against using internal dialogue as filler. Internal dialogue should not express something already “communicated via narration.”

I have a feeling that even after brushing this text several times, it still has some litter. Help me identify it and share your tips on eliminating untidiness from your work.

 

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ANDREA LEWIS lives and writes in Huntington Beach. She was born in Romania and moved to the United States at the age of 34, after meeting and marrying her husband. She writes memoir and personal essays, with a recent attempt at freeform poetry. Her work has been featured in the Los Angeles Times.