O.C. Writers

By Barbara Neal Varma // 

Donny Osmond ruined me—or at least my story about crushing on him did.

Couple of years ago, my “Desperately Seeking Donny” article went semiviral after it appeared on Mr. Osmond’s social media sites; the work of a watchful publicist, no doubt, searching the internet for any positive press on her client. By the second day, the essay gained a combined 7,000-ish smiley faces and pink hearts. Jaw. Drop.

I did realize, of course, that the frenzy was fueled by the former teen idol’s legion of lifelong fans. Still, as a writer, it was hard not to take the praise personally. I was buzzed for days, constantly refreshing my phone to watch the numbers and my joy climb ever higher.

Heady times. And addictive. Long after the Donny-afterglow had faded, I continued to chase the social media hits, hoping every article, every column that came after would trigger the same rush of endorphin-laced popularity.

But none came close to matching the high score DSD had set. I started to question whether my story was merely a one-hit wonder—and me along with it. If only I could find another topic that hundreds of screaming fans could easily relate to, I’d be back on the charts.

Hello, Disneyland.

I was thrilled when I got the assignment to write about returning to the park after its historic, pandemic-inspired closure. Not only was I an avid Disney fan, but millions of others were, too, meaning I’d have a wide, receptive audience. Why, it was practically perfect in every way.

Still, I thought, couldn’t hurt to prime the pump a bit. The day the essay was posted to the magazine’s website, I started the motion of promotion, adding the link to my Facebook and Twitter pages and reaching out to friends and family.

The result? Oh, I set a new personal record, all right. By the end of day one, I’d accrued a grand total of nine—yes, only nine—hits on my FB page. By comparison, the picture of my cat perched on an Amazon box posted the day before had netted more than 50 reactions during its first five minutes.

Pouting, I phoned a friend. “I told everyone to just click on the link. They didn’t even have to read it.”

Wait. They didn’t even have to read it? Had I really just said that? But I wanted them to read it, wanted them to feel the same likes, loves, and laughs that I did when writing it. Wasn’t that the true goal?

Enough, I thought, straightening up in my chair. Time to stop the madness and focus on my next story. But not before one last look—just a peek, no lingering—to see if any more comments had come in.

One had: “Wow … I felt as though I was right there with you!” wrote JoAnn Angeli.

I sat back. Jackpot. This time the smiling face was mine.

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BARBARA NEAL VARMA is a contributing writer to Orange Coast Magazine and has appeared in other notable publications, including The Atlantic. Her easy-humor personal essays have proven popular with readers, one gaining numerous hits on Orange Coast Magazine‘s website. (Hello: Desperately Seeking Donny.) You can learn more at BarbaraNealVarma.com.